Creating conflict.

Plan each conflict scene carefully so that it rings true. Don’t have those ridiculous scenarios where a character is offended by the most innocuous things another character does or says. Ask yourself if it would honestly offend you personally. Don’t set them up in stupid situations just to create conflict.

Here at least, I’m all for honestly and realism in fiction. If a third character is creating confusion that leads to the conflict, then that can work. But I don’t know many people that just shut up if confronted with the person they believe wronged them. I guess a writer can make it work, but they have to be damn clever in crafting it.

Then you have to love those romances where, despite all indications to the opposite, they just don’t believe the other character is attracted to, or loves them. Seriously? The characters must be blind or plain stupid.

For God’s sake rather give them a flaw where they just don’t see themselves as lovable. And don’t make the rejection a reason for the other character to have a hissy fit because they don’t believe them. I hate stories that go around in ever diminishing circles of inanities until they disappear up their own arses in a puff of obscure dialogue.

Arguments—make them cohesive and logical. Above all, don’t make your hero or heroine look like a complete idiot with a daft argument—it makes you, the writer, look even more stupid. 

One of the reasons why writers create these improbable conflicts is to fill space, make the story go further. They need to pull their heads out of their backsides and get real—be original, make it plausible and put some work into the plot..

What this sort of contrived writing tells me about such authors is that they have one thing in mind, churn out books and hope to fool some poor sod into buying them. Why would one keep reading an author that does this? “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” Chinese proverb.

What is mystery?

Novels are put into genres. But what if a novel has equal doses of mystery, romance, conflict and adventure? Then where does it fit?

Those arbitrary comments aside, let’s talk about mystery today.

Mystery feeds the need for adrenalin rushes, that thing that keeps us the edge, even though it’s only words. The imagination is powerful and allows us to live, with electrifying clarity, in the written moment.

Mystery is the skeleton of a novel. The novel may be pure romance, but there is always mystery of some sort. Even if it’s simply, why she doesn't want him or visa verse, and how will it be resolved.

If there isn't mystery, then one has to be damn clever in crafting the story or the reader will die from an overdose of love, sex, gratuitous violence or simply endless descriptions of what characters see and feel.

Conversely, all mystery and no meat on the bones will be anorexic, tiring. Is there such a thing as too much tension? Do we become inured or just plain exhausted from living on the edge? Well, vicariously that is. I think that’s possible.

Mystery keeps us turning the pages, but it has to be original, well planned and cohesive. These three elements are one of the hardest things to achieve in a novel.

Then, of course, there’s that phenomena where characters take on a life of their own and move in another direction, or develop personality defects one didn't plan.

Don’t confuse mystery with conflict. Conflict is a result of the mystery, but the subject of conflict is for another day.

Tip:

This is true for any novel. Create a document called, “Story Outline.” This should have all the character names, their traits, habits, hair color, eye color and other characteristics that define them. Use this document to make a chart outlining the plot. When changes are forced, note these so that the plot can be remolded to fit.

Get the manuscript edited or proofread to ensure it makes sense. As the author, one always has the plot all sorted in one’s head. The reader isn't privy to this head knowledge. What may seem quite clear to the author may not be so clear to a reader.

Pay careful attention to which character is doing what. It’s dead easy to have the names, times or places mixed, thereby confusing the hell out of a reader.

Romance and those private bits

Romance? Well, it’s tricky. You can take the route of chaste, stolen kisses and absolutely nothing beyond a semi passionate embrace and matrimony, which is frankly a yawn for me. Excluding Jane Austin and the like, but for me they are simply research vehicles into period dress and such like.

Then there are innuendos that the characters actually manage to get into the sack. Well, one assumes they do, or else a stork brings the baby. But miracles happen—if you’re Mary. This scenario can definitely be done, and spectacularly, if you’re clever.

Having said that, some readers enjoy the no erection, no breast touching foreplay. For a young adult (YA) novel this type of romance is imperative, and I admire those writers who can carry it off.

I guess it also works for adults who've never admitted to feeling, tear-his-pants-down or rip-her-dress-off and go at it like bunnies kinda passion.

However, your average full-blooded male or female wants the nuts—did I just say that—and bolts. I’m not talking full on porn, although that definitely appeals to some—boring.

For most readers, sensual foreplay is what excites. The power of suggestion seduces the mind, but the average romance reader wants it all, right up to the climax and the pillow-talk after. Well, women do. Hell, they fantasize about the perfect lover. 

Most adults know what goes on in the bedroom. But do they know scintillating romance and sex? That is where the writer comes in and delivers.

After the first flush of passion, most couples slide into the realm of making the relationship work. Or relationships degenerate into downright boring, or worse, become bitter and selfish. Obviously, there are moments of passion, but it doesn't often stay at the level it first enjoyed—life happens.

Novels are not life. They are fantasy worlds we escape into.

Most people, especially women, like a feel-good fairy tale romance laced with steamy sex. And there is no shortage of that on the market, ranging from great writing to positively barf-horrible.

The trick is writing the scenes in an original way in every scene and avoiding what look like cut and paste sections. Worse than that is churning out what a thousand other romance writers have said before.

Then there’s the dreaded “purple prose.” This malaise seems to infect most new writers. Avoid it at all costs.

What is purple prose? It’s an extravagant or flowery use of words, exceeding what is required to describe a scene. Anyway, it absolutely kills the flow.

But purple prose has a buddy, “the unmentionable private parts.” Nothing beats a throbbing member or petals of pleasure for a fall-off-the-chair laughing experience. Call it what it is penis/erection, vagina/clitoris or variations of these.

Intense emotion isn't necessarily conveyed by focusing on sexual organs anyway.

Having slammed purple prose royally, no pun intended, it’s all too easy to fall into the purple trap in the heat of the writing moment. But thank God for editing, and there is ALWAYS a better way to say something.

Tips:

Close your eyes and relive moments in your own life that turned you on, gave you an earth-shattering thrill. Nobody gets into your bed when you have sex. Well, unless you’re into kinky stuff.

Feel arms around you, feel your lover in your arms. Lips touch, bodies cleave. See it, feel it, taste it, smell it, and then write it. This works, unless you've only ever had horrible experiences. Then your story will have to be about horrible experiences, I guess. Not exactly a feel-good novel.

Get your head around the horrible experiences and use your imagination.

Read aloud what you've written. If you pack up laughing, then something has to change. If you blush and feel as though you have the reader in bed with you, then you’re probably on the right track. The key word is ORIGINALITY. Dig deep.

Write the things you like or fantasize about in sex. Interview the opposite sex and find out how they feel, what they like. Good luck with that. Some men don’t even like to admit they masturbate, and most women sure as hell won’t admit to it readily.

Ready to get naked for the critics?

When you put your manuscript (MS) out there and ask for a critique from fellow writers on a website like Romance Writer’s Community (RWC) or Book Country (BC), think of it as taking off your clothes in front of complete strangers and asking them to tell you what they think of your body. If you’re comfortable with that thought, then go ahead and strip.

DON’T get naked (unveil your writing) if you’re not ready to have your flaws pointed out.

If you receive a critique, expect to get comments like your stomach is fat and flabby (too many adjectives) or you’re bony and need to put on weight (add descriptions). Your critic might say your adverbs (boobs) make your sentence top-heavy and need reducing. Alternatively, the critic says you’re flat-chested and need fleshing out. Now, turn around. There are those dreaded analogies, metaphors and similes that abound and bounce around like over-sized butt cheeks in your MS. You get the picture, I’m sure.

Okay, so you've decided your MS (body) is perfectly toned and ready for publication (exposure.) You've spent months, years sweating it out at the editing gym and know it’s good, but if you think everything is trim and fit—think again. Gird your loins and be prepared to hear you have typos, spelling errors, run on sentences, gawking narrators and just plain weak prose. What? But you checked a thousand times—fifty members of your family and/or friends checked as well. If they did, then they obviously love you dearly, too dearly to be truthful. These critics you've undressed for are emotionally detached and don’t know you. Professional editors are even more direct. Best look at them as judges for a Miss/Mr. World Beauty Pageant. They’re paid to be brutally honest.

Even editors write books and may end up on one of the critiquing websites willing to undress. If one of them looks at your MS then I suggest you shut up, sit up and listen very carefully. Opportunities like that don’t come one’s way often. Oh, and you’ll recognize them because they waste no time telling you they’re editors. However, they will listen to a critic because they learned the hard way. I'm talking reputable editors here, not wannabe editors.

Develop a thick skin.

Some critics are kind and only point out obvious errors—Jed’s blue eyes that turn brown two chapters later. They will almost always say your writing flows and the story sounds really interesting (dull) from what they've read. They tell you the things they’d like to hear about their own MS. You know, do unto others . . . . I don’t say this is always the case, but “interesting” is not usually the adjective you want to hear about your MS. You need to ask yourself if the “kind” critique is honestly what you want. I doubt it, unless you have your head in the sand. You need to know the truth about your MS. If it’s fat and flabby, then you need to know so you can go on a grammar diet and hit the edit gym, or if it’s too skinny and flabby, you must eat more of the healthy stuff—and buff up.

Set aside the transparent robe of hubris and arrogance and put on a robe of humility and LEARN. You don’t have to agree with everything your critic says, but you do have to consider every criticism or concern.

Above all, remember that your editor/critic set aside his or her valuable time to look at your MS and, assuming they are not emotionally involved with you and owe you nothing, you owe them the courtesy of listening if nothing else.

Don’t get indignant because they think your writing falls far short of brilliant—listen to their suggestions. Perhaps there is room for improvement. No author ever writes the perfect sentence, but that is what all good writers strive for.

It’s okay to ask why they say what they do, but hear them out. If you still disagree, then seek clarification from expert sources before blasting their criticism out of the water.

The people who critique your work are the vanguard for readers. If the critic misses a typo or plot error, chances are your readers will find it. And readers really don’t give a damn about your feelings—they paid for your book. Readers are not like RWC, BC, or other websites like this with monitors to ensure everyone plays nice. Once your MS is published you can’t run to “mommy” and claim you’re being bullied.

Above all, stay calm, forget the bruised ego and LEARN. Accept the suggestions you agree with, and, after considering what they say with an open mind, delete the stuff you don’t agree with. And NEVER be rude or dismissive. Be excited that, because of the opinion of another writer or editor, you have the opportunity to rewrite—the opportunity to make your “interesting” MS brilliant.